(8) The boom box on my shoulder was a box of clementines I ate every single one without noticing the mold you said you're gross my darling, I said no i'm rock and roll even though i'd never ever been in a band I got cool as black ice tattooed on my hand and the christians gave me comic books as if I would be scared of burning in hell, well I was already there (8)
Well I think its time I write about bristol.
Me and Ronnie went to bristol.
PICTURE TIME.
I met this really nice guy too, hes pretty awesome, he was like running a chip thing, you know one of those little portable ones? and he made me a really nice hot chocolate and he liked my accent and stuff so I gave him my number and we've been talking and stuff. he text me like the day after going..
bout ye, hope this is a sweet northern irish lady etc etc. He's a lil cutey. He's got that tall dark handsome thing going on. And that accent ohmygoshhh... loves it.
Pfft I only wrote this because ciara wanted me to write a blog haha.
(8) Your my sunshine; First thing I see when I wake.
Your my moonlight; Rest assured the last thought I take.
Your bigger than the universe, And brighter than the sun. More than the stars, But your my only one. It takes me past the starry skies, To look you in your starry eyes. (8)
I changed my background, do you like it?
I do :)
Last night was so fun. I went to ciaras for a barbeque.
We were meant to be sleeping under the stars, because she read my last blog (my 100th one) and then was like "lets do all those things" but we didn't because it started raining.
And there weren't that many stars to be honest.
We stole a baby and renamed it Napoleon.. We loved it. We wanted a baby.
Picture time.
How beautiful is that last picture of ciara? Whoas.
..so have a drink, let's talk it over So many things I shouldn't be sayin now
..You know I like my boys a little bit older I just wanna use your love ...tonight, tonight, tonight. tonight, tonight
You don't mean nothing at all
I think I'm done fuck'n singing this song (8)
Ok this has been a while since i've updated. I really cant be assed getting into everything like. Went to Ashleighs 17th which was cool (: then we went to a house party at Ashleigh's Ex's house. Catherine got really blocked=Bad and ended up in the dog basket, which was owned by the blind dog and The Ex was freaking out it was funny.
I had a talk with Amys Boyfriend aswell, and we were talking about their relationship and then he said something and I was like... Whoa how do you know that guy. It's funny that you don't even know what people talk about, like amy had told him all about this dude I was meeting and then he came back and said his name.. I don't know it was just wierd. Here's some pictures!
Then I went to rathlin for like two days. Personal highlight was when dean decided he would "Steal A Seal" and we crept across all these rocks. Legend. Then the seal got scared are shuffled off the rock, kind of barking.
So yeah the island is really creepy and Dean kept freaking me out with freakin zombie apocolypses. Not funny.
What else?
Oh yeah I went down to The Husbands house all yesterday. It was so cool because I talked to him about just being friends, so it was like that. And I had such a blast, it really took the pressure off and I just had fun. I really love being with him, I could see us being really good mates :) so YEAH he gave me the picture he drew of me!! check it outttt
Then he bought me new guddies and didn't argue when we had to get an umberella (FLASH FLOODS- great day to go to belfast daryl) and he wanted a black one and I was all PINK PINK PINK and he got it hahaha awwww
So yeah then my mum met him and she actually thinks he's the best thing since sliced bread. She said it would be such a mistake if I didn't go out with him and stuff =/
Thats a bit random.
Anyway Ciaras comeing over to do some fundraisingggg I drew her last night because The Husband put me in a drawing mood. Its kind of stupid to put it right beside his so people can compare but whatever, I like it.
So this is my 100th blog post. 100 blogs about basically nothing. I've grown up alot since my first blog, I can say that truthfully. So much has happened..
So much that i've documented and shared with utter strangers.. everything i've felt and got off my chest..
For letting me do so, and reading all the stupid things I write about, I thank you :)
There's so many things I want to delete here, blogs that I wrote when I was so angry and upset, and those ones where I was deliriously happy.. But I won't delete them, It's how I felt at the time, and I should be proud that I spoke the truth.. There's so much I still want to do, So much i've never experienced.. Like sleeping under the stars, nothing to protect or cover..
Going away to a totally different place with friends, where we can be changed people, reinvented..
Watching the sunset on a beach or on some random mountain, even if it's freezing cold..
Jumping into a lake fully clothed on an impulse..
Going to a festival and not caring how messed up everyone would look..
Or falling completely and irrevocably in love...
But it's ok....
.........................................I have time
Ok so i've been in Aines since like Tuesday. We had a free all week but actually ended up doing not that much with it (wise people that we are).
We went into Belfast and stuff and went to like this porn shop mannnn it had such fucked up shit in it! Like it was awkward to be in. It had this 'Real Doll' that was like woman sized with like HAIR and like HOLES! It was like £800... My mate Ronnie said "You have to be one rich fucked up, plastic doll, porn lover" (to buy that) he's a legend. Eugh it was so gross anyway, so we left and went to Ann Summers where you feel safe like...
Ohh Ronnie decided he wants to go to Bristol so we got that booked, fun times? Largest crime rate in England much?
So yeah it was a pretty good week. Got that bus back where you have to stand at the side of the road, on the grassy bit cause there's no footpath. Theres something about being that close to traffic. I always have an insane urge to like jump out in front of a car. Obviously I wouldn't because i'm not suicidal and if I was I wouldn't want other people being hurt in the process (humanitarian award 2009?) But its always there, those speedy little cars.
I don't even want to write a long blog.
Thanks to new people following, it's nice to know that all this shit i'm writing has some kind of meaning.
I had an amazing night last night. Met Aine's Boyfriend, he's like so awesome, he's really thoughtful and we get on so well, i've never got on so well with any of the dickheads shes went out with. So yeah, i'm pretty damn happy for them both, shes meeting his parents and whole family basically like NOW.. I wonder how its going.
So much drama went down last night.. We got some drinks in which was good because I haven't had a drink in ages. Decky bought all sorts of shit which was good, but bad in a way too cause we all got fucked up.
So I met this guy who was sooo nice and funny and dead on and like.. we had a kiss and it wasn't a big deal but he didn't wanna go behind Decky's back cause they're really close or whatever but we still talked and all and it was really fun. I really liked his Tshirt and he gave me it this morning which I thought was super duper nice and invited me to a house party at his which sounds gurddd :)
BUT THEN....
His other mate kissed me. It just happened. And my non existant penis popped up again and I couldn't get the bastard away. This guy was so gorgeous, so great but I didn't feel anything for him as a person. And he tried to do so much shit behind Decky's back. It wasn't even right. Infact it was really wrong. He's like D's best mate why would you do that =/
So then Decky found out the next day and he got soooo pissed off at him. I apologised but he was just like 'Daryl it's not your fault, I should have warned you he's a sleaze' and just like.. he was saying how it was disrespectful like this guy was trying to take me upstairs in his best mates house. With his best mates little cousin.
Anyway Decky brought it up this morning when it was just me him and Nice Guy. I felt well bad, cause that guy was sitting right there listening. I really denied it but he ended up just being able to tell from my face. I felt so shit...
I have such a love/hate relationship with drink.
There was so many good points to the night though. My personal highlight was that every single person went to bed or went home apart from me and Decky who had a full on heart to heart until like 6. Then we were like.... shit it's light outside. And slept until around half 9, then I woke up Declan FIVE TIMES! what a record!!!! it was so fucking funny he just lay there with his finger up and he looked so wrecked haha
So then Aine's Boyfriend cleaned up and made food. Good times. Ok i'm done here, off to get some sleep hopefully after I watch the Gore Fest that is The Woods.
Just got the stupidest phone call from a guy i've known for ages. We were gonna meet up for a drink a few weeks back and he didn't get back to me and I was like fine whatever and then he just rang to tell me he had no credit in his phone and he wanted to meet up.
But the stupid bastard was pissed.
Words mean absolutely fuck all when people are pissed. I told him to stop being cheeky to me (he wasn't really-just thought i'd confuse the fucker) and hung up. Rang up again. Asking when I was free and I was like 'not gonna be free anytime soon' then he started going through each day christ sake! so i'm gonna head out with him on monday-on one condition. He finds a phone to ring me off, he rings sober, he hasn't got his dumbass mates with him, and he comes to get me.
Thats a few conditions.
Whatever. Drunk asshole.
Which just reminded me to give out a message.
Drinking on the street is not cool
Getting smashed every single night is not cool
Bragging about drink is so not fucking cool!
AND NEITHER IS RINGING PEOPLE JUST SO THEY KNOW YOU'VE BEEN DRINKING.
(8) And you still weren't home when I dialed up the phone in the evening
So I'm twiddling thumbs and I'm wondering whats this Im feeling
I may be strong below the belt But not with what I thought and felt
That blissful night I knelt.. Between your legs.. Between our heads.. Between our hearts
I was a faker before you.. I was a faker before you.. (8)
I'm reading this book He's just not that into you and I honestly cannot put it down (well just to blog and check emails) I started reading it a few hours ago and i'm on my last pages, it's written mostly by this guy Greg Behrendt who is just pretty damn awesome. Aine told me the movie changed how she thought of men (I don't really know if I wanna watch the movie) the book is doing just fine. It's like so good. I would recommend it.
It just makes so much sense, everything he says is true, I love it (: here he isss
And then I realised.. Some men are really good writers about things love-related. Has anyone read Jeff Maysh's monthly page about women-y stuff in company magazine? WHAT A LEGEND!
He wrote this really good bit called 'Sex shouldn't need gimp-suit accessories' and I liked this paragraph especially..
"my fetish is for my own, naked girlfriend and I fancy her in my old T-shirt that she wears to bed. I'm not boring-i'm just not a wierdo. Sex shouldn't be a costume drama or a rollercoster ride. Just two humans, naked, with only your imaginations flying like the waltzer. Scream if you wanna go faster"
And then I was reading Glamour magazine and this guy Sam Leith wrote a column on sex when you're falling in love...
"Sex with someone you aren't in love with feels like a promise you mutter under your breath, not sure if you can keep it. It bugs you. You're in bed together, but you're not in the room together, not exactly."
He concluded beautifully about sex when you're falling in love.
"This is sex where you can meet each other's eyes, where you can feel anxious to please rather than under pressure to show off, and where afterwards it's bliss to fall asleep together curled up. It is sex as an act of affection and of exploration and trust. It's sex as a promise you can keep."
That always makes me smile so much.. (:
And obviously, Max Bemis (my hero) is a beautiful songwriter. You just hear his songs and think 'Whoa I know exactly how he feels'. I GUARANTEE that you will smile if you hear this song. It's so cute.
I guess that's me done for now. All i'm going to say is. If you've found someone that you love, don't let it go until you absolutely have to. And ok this isn't what he's just not that into you is saying. But I guess i'm just an optimist when it comes to relationships. I always believe someone is better than they really are, I make excuses for them, that book made me realise that (corny as that sounds). If you really love someone. Really love them- you won't care what everyone else thinks of that person. because only you know how you feel. You could love the biggest asshole ever- but maybe you like that?
Just... If you truly love someone it doesn't matter how ugly they are. How much older or younger they are than you. How fat or thin they are. Only you know. Don't let anyone tell you who you should or shouldn't love.
And in my head, my mind runs back to a moment lost
A flashback scene from before the fall, before it was over too soon
Of upper arms, and auburn hair and the smell of her that filled the air
The car goes on, a bullet of thundering loss (8)
Feels like forever since i've written in this bitch.
I just got a really stupid message that starts with 'Hi JOHN message from loanfindersUK. Are you looking for a loan?' and I got a call last week from someone asking for John regarding fucking car insurance or something. WHOEVER IS DOING THIS TO ME STOP IT.
Bought like a zillion clothes yesterday with ciara that was pretty damn good, I got basically everything I want and when I got home my mother had a pair of converse awaiting me (: goood times (: Although she thought I was going to "The Ex Husband"'s house (I had to get a divorce) but I forgot to tell her he's at oxygennn so i'm waiting until he gets back and he's going to take me to dinner and then his to watch Twilight which is a cool plan. It was really nice, he remembered my favourite restaurant and all I was like awwwwwwwww (: It really means alot, little things like that, people remembering an off comment.. he's such a gentleman paying for stuff and all (: I wish I knew how I felt about everything =/
So we saw Jaysh and his new little GF it was so cute he was all happy and all and he came over and ciara was all 'Dude go sit with your girlfriend again' But whatever, young love and all that.
Met up with terry aswell and me him and ci went to the graveyard to have icecream like the old days when i'd get us both a big cone and we'd skive off school for a while and i'd wear his huge blazer because it made me feel small. Jeez I miss those days, what's it going to be like next year I wonder?
What else? I don't even know. Aine keeps asking me about saturday and she's all 'bring your mates, me and barry will probably go to bed early and everything' and i'm like dayumm because like I can't do that, no-one is able to go, it's going to be like the 12th of July the next day and everyones freaking out about that since it'll be hard to get down and stuff. Eughh I was going to ask someone else to go but Blah Blah plans fell through again, why does that always happen?
It would be my honour to be your new step father (8)
Well what a dayyy homie ;) Me and Ciara had a little clothes swapping session. I gave her my Criminal Damage dress, which I dearly love but I knew it would suit her far better (Plus i'm secretly trying to make her into a scene kid, do you really think that pink hair dye was a "mistake" ? come on ;) But keep it on the DL) and she gave me this awesome hoodie n a couple of cardigans which I was in desperate need for (: so i'm happy (:
What's with the strange tan chest/white face thing? whatever, great camera I have =/
What else? Oh yes. My friend. My friend is going through a strange thing with her boyfriend. It's making me a little sick. HE'S making me a little sick. Why complain that she's "selfish" ? If she just doesn't really DO material things? They don't matter to her. She's sarcastic, yes, but that's one of her best qualities. It's not to be spiteful, it's her sense of humor. And what really annoys me is that he KNEW this!
He KNEW before he started seeing her
And saying that people have told him he can do better. Like fuck. Why do people change all of a sudden. Whatever.
Ok so another thing, went into town yesterdayyy to give my mother her folders because she left them at home so I got the freakin bus and all this shizz then she kept me waiting for ages then I went off for a while and then I needed her to collect me and she was all 'I'm busy' and I took a freak out at her and got really pissed that i'd given up my whole day for her and she was so ungrateful so I had to seek refuge in the library toilet and then ended up takin shit out on other people it turned out to be a pretty shitty day
But then I learnt how to work the ice cream machine..
without fucking up!
So I can like do almost all work related things now! too bad i'm finding a job elsewhere =/
Hmm and this guy came in I used to know and I was like whoa awkward it's been ages, but didn't talk to him or anything that would have been rough. So I ignored his stupid gaelige (gealige?) ass..
Then I was thinking about some other things and realised
I think with my
non existant
penis
dayummm
Anyway Noodlebear's doingg fine.. except she isn't used to my hand and stuff, that makes me nervous
Then he bought me new guddies and didn't argue when we had to get an umberella (FLASH FLOODS- great day to go to belfast daryl) and he wanted a black one and I was all PINK PINK PINK and he got it hahaha awwww
