Birthdayness.

Decided to move this part of my other post to here, so that it can be on it's own and not with that unhappiness.

Because i am happy today.

I read this awesome poem the other day it made me smile. wanna hear it?

I'd like to tell you something.

I hope it won't offend.

But if you weren't my lover,

You'd be my bestest friend.

My asos stuff came, and it was such a lovely present to myself. I opened it up as if i didn't know what was inside (: i bought myself a beautiful lace dress, with see through arms and back, and a full zip down the front. It's fucking gorgeous. AND CARTOON TIGHTS WHICH I HAVE ALWAYS WANTED EVEN WHEN I WAS A KID! ever since i saw them on matilda in Leon, one of my favourite movies ever (:

Here's some thing's i want

A mini one of these (:

This gorgeous urban outifitters necklace. Oh lordy.

An uberly gay/ultra awesome metoyou bear like this one!

This fucking great bracelet. Off this place called punky pins. They do all sorts of amazing stuff tbh. But this is the one me and ciara saw like a zillion years ago in a magazine.

I'm just that cool for remembering.

AND MY MOMMA'S GETTING ME MY PROVISIONAL LICENSE AND MY LESSONS! HOW LEGENDARY =D

Jeez i can't think of anything else. Just things i'll never get like a 1989 volkswagon golf. Or a bracelet that says "property of MP" on it. Or a time machine that'll bring me to the end of my A-levels. That i will have passed. And i'll be 18. And very very happy.. maybe :)

Now.

Well. I was going to go to sleep. But i need to gather my thoughts.
I am feeling so immensely indifferent right now.
Have had a hangover for two days now, as i was out with roisin friday and a house party last night.
Last night was unreal.
An old friend was there.
I used to like him, and he used to like me. So it was awesome to see him. We had a fun time :) and i made a new friend, he was brilliant :) the whole night was really good because i was drinking, but this morning i just felt really shitty. I heard new friend saying 'is she ok?' and stuff, which was really comforting. Then this really arrogant guy was leaning over me going 'are you alive?' and i was like eurghhhh.
I felt so out of place now that my favourite people had left.
I felt really wierd and horrible, so i left without giving james a hug.
I got the bus on my own.
Got to town on my own.
Had half an hour to dander about.

My mp3 player was so in sync with me. i felt like i was in donnie darko. tears for fears played and it made me really happy, and i smiled at people. i walked into the disney shop and looked at the new princess and the frog stuff, and didnt get annoyed when the security guard followed me. i looked over a photographers shoulder. he was standing on a little ladder and pointing his camera in the city hall direction, he had a massive tripod. and i realised im kind of into photography now.

I just feel like i can't really talk to anyone right now.
I can talk to the guy in england.
But thats only because he's not like real.
he's just a perfect illusion of what i want a person to be, and i am to him.
He sent me a letter yesterday.
It's perfect too.
It makes me sad that some day we might meet up and we won't be so perfect anymore.
He's such a good friend to me.

I hate seeing people unhappy. I don't know whats happening with everyone now.
I don't like finding out that my friends boyfriend is being a dick again.
I loved it when they were my idea of perfection.
He's a wanker to me now.
I hate that he's not exactly what she wants.
Because you can't help who you fall in love with.
And all i want is for them to be happy again.
I have nothing else to say, so i'm going to lie down for a while.
I wish i had a hand to hold right now.
His hand.

im outtie.

Apocalyptic dramas are the worst.

James rang earlier!! whoaaaa nice times :)
We decided that theres like nothing that everybody can do together for my birthday, since they won't get in anywhere without id etc..
And some people don't even wanna go out anywhere.
Sooooo i'm just gonna get a night out with amy, and get like the old crew back together for like the cinema and KFC and then a little sleepover, like my 11 year old bdays :) i loved them!!
Don't know what else i'm doing.
But i get to driveeee soon! fucking right man, can't wait :)

Might post a birthday list blog if i come up with anything =/
My momma's getting me driving lessons, i hope people ask me what i want, because i'm being really fussy this year. And most people i don't even want a present off.

Lata skata ;)

Still life.

Darri says: life is goooooood
Ben says: same here hun
we turned out alright didnt we
Darri says: we did. golly. love you dude.
Ben says: love ya too miss



This made me really happy today, nostalgia came flooding back to me.
I don't know why this made me so happy.
Must be the new year.

I do believe in fairies. I do. I do.

Happy new years.
Lets hope this one proves better than the last.