Stealing People's Beds

Friday was friggin class to be honest. We watched a load of horror movies and talked all night. mixed with a little drama concerning Annmaries brother (annmarie being the birthday girl, sweet 16), and becky, another girl who was there. they kissed and then evidently he's still seeing his ex -not good.

all in all it was really good. was funny too, i slept in annmaries bed and in the middle of the night she turned round n was hugging me. i think she thought i was her boyfriend. lmao..bless her..

last night i stayed at aine's. B rang from his mates phone. he's starting to annoy me so much. apparently he was pissed. gawd i couldn't imagine that. i'd end up slapping him like seriously. who can be assed.

good night last night, although i stayed in decky's room and i woke up in the morning and found him on the sofa. he'd been at a party and came in at 4 to find me in his bed. he told me in the morning that he was so drunk that he had to come in like so many times just to make sure someone was actually there. he thought it was his eyes trickin him. we felt bad that i'd taken his bed so we made him hot chocolate n croissants to make up for it and he told us all about his night, it was funny as fuck :P

Gonna go down to the local pub to see about that job that my english teacher promised me. 16 in february, i'm sure i'll be sweet.

Only a week until YMAS and KIGH! can't fucking wait like!!

(8)Take off your colours
Who are you wearing them for?
Tick off your lovers,
All respect was left at the door. (8)

Strange Text From A Random Number

B text me last night from some random number asking me if i was going to belfast or to this pub about 4 miles from my house. He said .."i really need to talk to you" and "sorry if i've been a dick recently sorry could you text me back and let me know?"

I don't know how i feel about this. It's borderlining on stalkerish, although he's a nice guy and just says what he wants..

I text him back and told him that talking to him wasn't a good enough reason to go all the way to belfast, and that the pub was gay lmao..

I kinda wanna know what he wants. Im surprised that he said that about him being a dick. We haven't hung out in ages, i don't know how he could be a dick to be honest.

Maybe he's only saying that because of me being a bit bitchy. Maybe he thinks he's done something wrong. Meh i don't even care. He's amusing, the way he rings and texts and stuff.

Well i think i'm gonna head to yoga..Fun Fun ;)

Outties
xx

B Calls

Whoa..B definately seen me

he just rang me like 5 or 6 times from a reverse charge line.

i kept rejecting it and i sent him a txt saying..."ur reverse charging me? No thanks"

and when it rang again, the guy went "You have a call from...." and instead of sayin B he was like "please?"

Haha..loser

Although i like when guys REALLY wanna talk to you. It shows they care. Apart from him trying to charge me for it. But he fully never has credit.

I hate when they only ring when they're looking something. It's so sleazy.

Yellow Eyeshadow

Was just in this shopping place getting make up for my mates birthday on friday..a small-ish (10 people) get together at her house to get pollaxed to the max and eat sweets and pizza lmao..like children..apart from the whole alcohol bit :D

So she had her heart set on a yellow eyeshadow like mine, but i feel pretty bad because i ended up getting her stuff that wasn't as good because i couldn't get to belfast..so i got her fake eyelashes that are like blue and purple which are pretty cool, yellow eyeshadow dust, blue glitter dust.

Yeah i don't know if i'll be able to afford any drink now. Darn.

But anyway where was i..shopping...yeah..i saw this dude (we'll call him B) that i had a "thing" with..

We like hung out alot for a while and we both liked each other and we kissed a few times, nothing serious like, but then this other guy (D) was bad mouthing me because we had a "thing" aswell and he's just a complete asshole, and spread all this shit about me. Anyway, B was in this place..with his mate..but only his mate saw me and then apparently the mate nudged B and he turned around and just stared at me. I didn't particularly wanna talk to him tbh, but was a bit put out that he didn't call to me or anything. Because he still rings every once in a while to tell me he misses me and asks if i miss him and stuff lols..i always say no like..gawd i shouldn't be such a bitch to him. Why do i always get on like that with people i like/have liked?

But yeah. Strange day. Wierd to see him again after not seeing him for so long.

He looks good. i'm glad he's still...ok...i guess...

Kinda wish he'd came to talk to me or something. But he didn't know i had seen him. But still. Might call him and get together or something. As friends though. Don't think i'm gonna go down that road again..

You Me At Six

Ordered the tickets for the you me at six gig.

I convinced my mother to buy me mine as part of my christmas present, and i got lanie hers for the secret santa.

I told her i'd have to give her the present early..and she was like "aye well im just gonna open it on christmas day" so i was all "good luck" and she had a strange idea that i had got her condoms or something haha so she kept saying she was gonna open it in her room..

and i just goes...look you won't be able to open it....because....ok get this....its you me at six tickets
OMGOMGOMG ARE YOU SERIOUS? OMG YOU ME AT SIX

....you can hug me now

BIG HUG

lmfao was good. she got really excited and couldn't concentrate on the presentation we were doing in english (talking about this poem 'limbo' infront of the class which was really hard and according to my friends i looked like i didn't care and just kept sayin shit like '...yeah there's this guy and hes all....like....on a slavery ship....but in my opinion...the guy's dead')

So yeah...really amazingly excited.. we were so excited that we drew 'you me at six' on our fingers lmao

And sooo the tickets came today..and i was on you me at six's myspace and the band kids in glass houses were in their 'top friends' so i thought 'hahaha this top friend status probably isn't returned' and checked KIGH's myspace..

Looked at tour dates..what did i see 7TH DECEMBER..MANDELA HALL..6.00 WITH YOU ME AT SIX

.....................hell yes!

rang lanie. she told me she nearly "wet her panties"

bless. i love her. =)

Listen to Lisa Mitchell..neopolitan dreams. it's a happy song. makes me feel happy. checked out her other songs, not as good. you'll be dissappointed. so stick with this one. *big happy smily face*

Ex Boyfriends Are Assholes

Inhaling the black smoke that surrounds me
Summoning me to join the life i'd rather leave behind
It pulls me softly into the most powerful arms of this dragon
I thought it ran it's fingers through my hair
I thought it was vulnerable
But soon my skin bleeds
It's not as beautiful as it seems
Falling to my knees
This journey takes so long
Melt through the clouds
I'm no longer a little girl
This hot earth feels like water
Letting me slip deeper into it
It leaves blisters of hate
I could never imagine
I'll always have the scars to remind me
Of the time i thought i was happy
I could crawl for mercy
But i want to see how much pain i can indure
This monster turns to leave
But i beg it to stay
I scream loud for a deeper wound
Reluctantly it returns
With a smug smile of triumph
It licks it's lips and it's blue eyes bore into me
They light up as the blade is pressed into my veins
I'm thankful for the blood that pours down

Emo Shit I Wrote A While Back

Just to bleed black tears
From the eyes of the brokenhearted
And the pain they've endured
From the live's they've injected
With this lethal dose of sorrow
And the lovers that held close the hope
That it's not all over
This is what's become of life..
Of love..
Of a dream..

Again..I Have No Idea What's Happening

I just rang ciara.. was asking her if she wanted to go to you me at six or mindless self indulgence..

And she was just like "I don't know how i feel about either of them..why don't you get sammi to go?"

And i said "Well i kinda wanted us to go to a gig together"

And she said "If you're getting this because you want to get me a christmas present don't bother cause i'm not really 'doing' christmas this year"

So i said "So if you don't get me anything, you won't get me anything?"

So we agreed to not get each other.

There's something about this whole thing that's fully saddening..lmao which sounds stupid. But i think that my whole theory on us growing apart is true..

Think i'm going to get the you me at six ticket for alanna since i have her for secret santa =/ And she was the first person i thought of when i seen they were playing so yeah..

Which is good because she's the person i always go gigging with...

It should be good. I'm looking forward to it. Just too bad that this is happening between me and ciara. I always thought she would be the only person that i would always be mates with. Does that sound niave?

Gawd i wish i didn't care about her so much >.>

Max Bemis....The Sex

Im in love with max bemis. like actually he's the bestest person ever.

Some of my all-time favourite max bemis lyrics are as follows ..(hes a full on lyrical genious i swear)

Woe..

Please take me out of my body

Up through the palm trees

To smell California in sweet hypocrisy.

Floating my senses surround my body.

I wake my nose to smell that ocean burn.

About Falling..

I feed on the virgin blood from your bleeding heart,

with my pants around my ankles.

but i don't really even care if i'm alone now,

whoa whoa

and i don't even give a damn about falling in love,

Retarded In Love..

But when they robbed her of her infinite smile

She said maybe I'll just play dead for a while

He's the first to tell you he's full of shit

Like that's half a compliment for men

Alive With The Glory Of Love..

Beneath the wormwood, ooooo, love me so good…

They won't hear us screw away the day.

I'll make you say:

“Alive! Alive! Alive with love, alive with love tonight…”

No Soul..

You'd probably think this means I give up on you

The saddest part is this is why I come

To watch and pray that I'm mistaken (mistaken)

And pray I'm not the only one

I've had a few but not that many

But you're the only one who gives me good and plenty

Baby Girl, Im A Blur..

Thats how we be

you and me

I would not crowd,

I would not smother you

I'd let you breathe, over me

The drugs can have my mind, love

You own the rest you'll find

And you're with me all the time

Shiksa (Girlfriend)..

That all has changed that was deranged

Even if you suck me til I’m sore

No matter what, I’d bleed to be your whore

Even if the cancer grows til we explode, I’m yours

I remember it vividly, love

I’ve been walking erect since the moment we met

And I caught your eye, to my surprise

Your white thighs

Hebraic neuroses ceased to be

An angel’s conversing with me

The new attractive to me

Is divine

Here We Go Again

Am talking to like my "ex" if you could call it that...

It's really wierd when you don't talk to someone for ages and suddenly they're THERE and it's like it was ages ago... And you have that feeling that nothings changed..

But you really have to look at the situation and remember that you really just...can't let yourself feel that way again. Because you know that no good will come of what you're doing.....

Gawd I honestly wish i had known then what i know now.

He was the only person i've ever felt like fully strongly about.





Sometimes i miss him a little too much..

Some Guy

I wish you would stop obsessing about your shitty ex girlfriend

I just want you to have more fucking faith in your heart

I hate that you're so afraid...

Too fucking afraid to let me in...



I hate that you're a user, and that i don't know why......

Randalstown Vs Belfast

My mother dearest is off to a "yoga weekend" this weekend..it's like this spa thing with all vegetarian food and she'll b doing like a hundred sessions of yoga over a two day period.

My mother worries about me a hell of a lot, so she asked me to stick around randalstown this week so she wouldn't have to be worried about me getting raped or whatever..But i'm pretty sure randalstown has like thee most PERVY men ever, like more than Belfast, which is my hometown and where I would have been hanging out today..For instance, There's this old dude. He does my HEAD in. And when see him about the town he makes all these wierd sexual jokes. i'm like NO REALLY LIKE IM 15. And i really push it, he doesn't seem to get the message. it's like...YEAH IM STUDYING IN ST. BENEDICTS....YOU KNOW THAT SCHOOL THAT ONLY GOES UP TO YEAR 12? you fucking knob, but still..then sometimes he'll sniff the air like a dog and go "ayye thats a lovely smell there, heeeyyy, lookin fit tha night gurl, lookin fit" (in a country accent obviously)..i've put up with it, but once he was laughing at something he said and i was lyk "no seriously. stop fucking laughing. It's really not funny"

HE'S LIKE 60 WAT THE HELL

lmao. What a fucking loser. like sort your life out.

So yeah, I sacrificed belfast so now i'm sitting here thinking what the fuck to do

Trust my family to move from a big town to like practically a village in the shithole of nowhere

Like honestly. Randalstown consists of...hairdressers, like a million pubs, grocery stores and chippys. Oh and there's a bridal shop, a photographers, a cake shop and "the tackle box" ...LMAO fishing stuff.....wdf....

And most of the kids round here are full on chavs, which i'm cool with because i have mates that lean that way, it's just these aren't the sort of chavs you wanna chill with bar one or two..

So i don't have many mates up here. Ciara lives up the road like, but its like a big fuck-off road with no path so we don't have that kind of "meet me in two minutes" relationship like we did in Belfast where she lived 3 doors away..

And it really sucks badly, i'm missing ciara loads these days. We seem to be growing apart, which i don't really get. Like we hung about yesterday while she was waiting for her dad to pick her up, and we came up to my wee shitty house and i filled her in on all that's happening with my life and she was telling me that she had missed the bus in antrim (5 minutes away) and that the guy got her a private bus and the guy went this wierd route and she thought he was gonna pull over and kill her or something Lmao..she's a legend...so we got into the house then my mum fucking talked to her for like ages about yoga or something and as soon as we got into conversation again, her dad rang and she had to walk to the end of the road to meet him so i walked with her even though it was raining and shit.

I think it might be something to do with that night we got drunk.

Our parents were sort of oblivious to the fact we were experimenting with drink and one night we just thought "fuck it lets get pissed" and we ended up like paraletic with my gay best friend james haha so yeah...she sort of noticed when we rolled into the house with bloodshot eyes and staggering about the place Lmao

We both got grounded for like the first 2 weeks of summer..and now i think our parentals might just be wary of letting us hang out since we fully lied to them


or maybe we're just growing up..who knows...

Retarded In Love

Ooh another blog two minutes later.

Was just on this complete and utter LOSERS page, and now im like "Whoa wat was all that stressing about?"


.............Yeah i understand this doesnt make sense, if you were in my shoes you would be able to sympathise.........


"He's the first to tell you he's full of shit....like that's half a compliment for men......"

Day In The Life?

Hey People

been a pretty productive day, went to this cinemagic thing n this dude who had a slight reseblance to max bemis in his body type n facial hair (maybe im just obsessed with max bemis though) gave a lecture on film reveiwing and the difference between critics and reviewers, it was fully interesting although he was into a good few movies i like and i didnt really speak up the whole time and he was all "are there any real film fans? haha" and i was lyk SHIT I SHOULD TALK! but i didn't.....darn....

But yeah, it was fun and then we watched citizen kane..not impressed..not something you're supposed to admit right? but what can ya do..

Having a quiet night in....basically because my best mate is being held captive in the house and i was gonna chill with a guy im casually seeing but then i thought fuck it..hating men right now..

Well watever, can't say i never tried blogging right? (goes to find her father on this blog thing LOLZ)

outties xx