I'm In Club Hell. Where I'm the Only Freakin Member.

(8) I wanna scream "I love you" from the top of my lungs...
But I'm afraid that someone else will hear me...
You can only blame your problems on the world for so long...(8)

About five teachers fucking came to me yesterday telling me to not quit RE. Fuck that. One of my main reasons why i'm dropping it is because I don't want to have a D or a U on my exam results. I know that i'm pretty much going to get A's and B's in all my subjects apart from maths, where i'm doing foundation (I can only get a C) and I don't want a big dirty D sitting there with all that >.>


I really miss hugs right now.
I miss kisses.
I miss touches.
I miss skin.
I miss secrets.
I miss eyes.

I miss lips.

I miss fingers through hair.
I miss honesty.

(8) You take another line.. And you feel fine

This time..And it goes like this, girl

Girl, oh yeah.. Tell me what to do, girl

I'm so in love, whoa
I'm so in love with you, you, you (8)

Went to a class wee gig last night in this bookshop called No Alibi's in Botanic in Belfast. The guy was from seattle. His name's Jim Page. He would put you in mind of like a BobDylan/Iron and Wine crossover :L

We were right infront of him and I went up after and shook his hand and told him I enjoyed it. And he said thanks for being "Brave enough to sit in the front row" bless. He was so dead on like.

I hate waiting.
I hate thinking.
I hate loving.
I hate temptation.
I hate wanting.
I hate remembering.
I hate knowing he's lied....

<3

Burn In Hell Religious Ed =)

(8) Don't be surprised when you get bent over..

They told ya.. You were gagging for it (8)

I don't have to do religion anymore!! Jeez this is the best thing that has ever happened to me...

Went in to complain to the headmaster guy about religion. And one of the first things he said was "well do you want to drop it?"

I was like.....Fucking hell yes please.

So now i'm dropping it, and I asked my art teacher/form teacher if I could go and do art instead. So that's the plan from now on (Y)

.................Sweet

Now You Wish You Meant Something To Somebody Else

(8) Baby, don't talk to me.

I'm trying to let go

Not loving you is harder then you know.

'Cause girl your driving me so crazy

You said this could only get better.

There's no rush, 'cause we have each other.

You said this would last forever,

But now i doubt if I was your only lover (8)

Today is so shitty. I was going to get the bus with my brother into belfast, but he didn't wake me up this morning. He got the early bus, so I woke up at 11 and thought "ok i'll get the 10 to 12 bus" but then I got a shower and it sort of dawned on me that I take a million hours to get ready so I just left.
I was severely depressed this morning when I realised he'd gone =/

I was in the house on my own and it was really lonely.

I kinda want to do something today. I'm not sure what just yet.

Can you help me understand?

Had a dream about ben last night, that was sort or surreal. Was about him living down the road from me and I went to his house. We sat on the sofa and he just hugged me. I buried my head into his neck and I remembered how comforting it was to be like that and how much I miss it.

It was so warm and soft and I inhaled his scent. It was so real. And I remember thinking "I can't do this...I'm seeing someone now"

And I had to go before something happened.

I think it was because he started talking to me the other day on msn. He was telling me how much he missed me and the things we did. I was like "yeah I kinda miss it too"

And he was like "I don't think you do"

So I went "Don't be talking to me like this. You don't realise how hard it was to get over you"

"It couldn't have been that hard"

"It was.. I really liked you"

"How much?"

"Wdf ben? Are you just doing this because you want to feel good about yourself or something?!"

"No hun, I was just curious. You don't have to tell me. You never were the type to spill your heart out.."

"Fine. I thought I loved you. I was wrong. But at the time that's how I felt"

"..I feel really bad now. I'm sorry for everything that happened."

Then I stopped talking to him. I don't need him getting on like that with me. Not now.

*Choking sounds - spit*

MAX- ahh that's it

CRAIG- oh my god, mustve passed out *laugh* I wanted to pass out

MAX- well you just did

CRAIG- fucking awesome *laugh*

MAX- It's just not enough flavour

I hate how fucked up everything is right now. It would be so easy to make it okay.

Shadows Fall On Yesterday (I Hate Religion)

(8) You are so beautiful, You are the kind of girl
That has the chemicals that makes me fall in love
Difficult, so very difficult
You are the kinda girl, that makes me fall in love, fall in love
You know i felt a strong regret
You lied about, you lied about
You lie to me, lie to me (8)

I love Escape The Fate again. Only getting into the album they brought out earlier in the year, it's amazing.

Ronnie's in prison now or something which sort of sucks though :L

I don't like craig as much. Ronnie was far hotter.

(8) Cause I'm alone, I'm alone

And I'm hoping she's sappy just like me

I'm alone and I hope she's unhappy just like me

I'm alone and I pray she feels crappy just like me

I'm alone and I hope we'll be happy in the end (8)

Max Bemis was writing songs when he was 16, how come I can't?

The amount of coursework I have is not even funny. I's getting to be so fucking stressful. I actually want to scream with the amount.

As well as this, I have to fucking deal with my stupid-ass school. We got MORE fucking revision notes today in RE today. This is word for word ..

"Our sexuality is a gift from God and, used properly, it helps us to love and cherish one another. To maintain it in the way God intended, the Catholic is called to live a chaste life-inside and outside marriage. This 'vocation' cannot be reconciled with such sexual activities as fornication, pornography, prostitution or homosexual behaviour. To help us avoid them God gives us guidence through Church, the Holy Spirit, the Sacraments and prayer."

WORD FOR FUCKING WORD! Actually. double yew tee eff..........
My school is actually the most spazdick thing ever.

I was all "er....are they allowed to write that?"
Dickface Teacher= *sighs* "...what daryl?"
"Umm...about 'homosexual behaviour'?"
"Well if it's bad and it breaks up marriages." *continues with shitty 10 commandments*

DIE. wdf?!?!


So I was talking to my art teacher and her sub-teacher husband and they were saying it was messed up too.. but they have to go with it or they'll get fired or something. They are such n amazing couple. I could talk to Mc Mullan for years..fuck the things he comes out with are fascinating. We talk about music and movies and suddenly we're talking bout afterlife and hippies. He's great. I found out that he knows who judee sill is and we were both like "wdf.. i've never met anyone who's even heard of her"

Anyway my art teacher/form teacher told me she has to do this thing where she teaches us about the "birds and the bees" but the school have told her shes not allowed to teach contraception, just like waiting for marriage and all. And all this "just say no" bullshit. What do you do if "no" doesn't work out for you? gawd.


Well done. One girl in my year has already had a kid, and another is pregnant.

I hate religion.

Here's some reasons why..


.....Sick Fucks.

Oh and The Dude and my mother are like slabbering to each other. The joy. I'm totally in the middle of this. On one side I can see that she invaded his privacy, and on the other side I can see why she's doing what she's doing. She's going about it the wrong way, but her intentions are good. And they're both so stubborn. He wont let her know that he understands her motives in any little way. And he's not stupid, he knows she has good reasons. I had more hope for him to be the bigger person and just text her something nice. If he did that, she'd let me see him. But he won't.


"I really like you I hope you know, more than I have let myself like anyone for quite some time"


They are just words clearly.

Give Me Good Good Times Around The Bend

(8) We take three steps forward and three steps back,

She says "I don't like the way you're dressed"

So then four words later, she takes four back

She says "I don't like the way you're tryin' your best to impress" (8)

She knows about him. She's not entirely ok with it. But she took it far better than I ever expected. I actually love my mum. She's amazing =D

Went down to stay in james' last night with him and ronnie. It was really last minute..I love those kinds of plans. It was funny as fuck. James set him shoes and jeans on fire. (see beloooow) Wdf...

Going to the ramble thing tonight. Keep thinking how i'm sacrificing that gorgeous dress to go out =/

My god it's actually the most beautiful piece of clothing ever. Me and the mother were in this shitty outlet place called junction one and I checked in clockwork orange to see if it had went down in price since the last time. It had. Then I thought "Right i'll try it on and it wont fit cause it only goes up to Medium and their sizes are tiny, then I won't even have the option"

I tried it on.

It fit perfectly.

I need this dress I swear...

Mette Lindberg from The Asteroids Galaxy Tour is actually one of the cutest girls alive.

Self-Obsessed Copyness

Here's 25 useless facts about me. To copy my mate, as mine will be far better ((:

1. I'm obsessed with my phone. I pick it up like every 10 minutes just to check it. It's a curse.

2. My bedroom is tiny and filled with pink and black things and different forms of lights.

3. I believe that there are different ways for someone to be attractive. Someone who is sexy doesn't neccessarily have to be gorgeous. For instance.. Brendon Urie is gorgeous. He has amazing eyes and awesome lips. But I don't find him as sexy as..the likes of Robert Downey Jr or Dominic West, who don't have perfect features but are oh-so-desireable (:




4. I can only have the volume on my T.V up to a number that ends in 0, 2, 5, 8 and sometimes 9 but I can have them on a double digit (like 33).

5. Although I like movies like fight club, pulp fiction and donnie darko, my all-time favourite is Beauty And The Beast which I shamelessly know every word of.


6. If my brothers feet touch me anywhere I have to wash that place. 3 times mostly haha.

7. Oh and I don't like feet. Even my own.

8. If I was a singer I would sing "Black Math" by The White Stripes at every gig. It would be amazing to perform.


9. I prefer Videos to DVDs and actually tried for ages to get Beauty and the Beast to get it on video because I stupidly lost the one my dad got me 9 years ago.

10. I'm very rarely on time or anything. And was once unintentionally 20 minutes late for my own birthday.

11. One of my favourite lines in a song ever are "Sitting closer than my pain. He knew each tear before it came" (Sorrow by Flyleaf)

12. Outside the UK, I've been to Austrailia twice, Amsterdam twice, France, Tenerife and Prague. I don't like travelling very much. But Amsterdam is the sex, I could live there.

13. I was born in England. In a place called Burnley. I don't even know whereabouts it is, and have no interest to find out. I'm just glad we moved to ireland before I got an accent.

14. My friends from the antrim area think I can't talk properly. Some of the words they tease me about are meal deal (me-al de-al), Pocohontas (po-ca-haaan-tiss), orange (arr-nge) and their new-found favourite Lasange (las-on-ya).

15. When I was a kid I used to get up every saturday at like half 8 to watch The Wedding Singer. Like EVERY saturday. The trend ended when I got to about 10 and my brother taped over it.

16. I don't believe in love at first sight, and that people who say "I love you" within 6 months of seeing someone is a liar.

17. I was never baptised and am athiest.

18. I'm Pro-choice. I hate Pro-lifers.

19. When I was like 4 or 5 I was in a charity shop with my mother and brother and there was this sponge crocodile type thing in this basket and I didn't have any money so my brother (who was about 10 at the time) spent 10p out of his pocket money to buy me it. It was one of the nicest thngs anyone's ever done for me. "Croc" has remained the only soft toy I love. He sleeps in my bed every night ((:

20. I've had my head split open 5 times on different occasions. The most memorable being when "spacer" from across the interface threw a brick at me. I was 9. He accidently blew himself up about a month later because he held on to a petrol bomb he was about to throw over to our area for too long.

21. Mint and tea tree is the sexiest smell ever. Closely followed by Black XS perfume, then Fresh Garbage (shop in belfast)

22. My favourite album of all time is "..is a real boy" by Say Anything.



23. The My Chemical Romance concert was one of the best nights of my life and at the time I was a bigger fan than I am now, and was totally amazed to see Gerard Way. He actually spit out over the audience and i'm convinced my black skinnies still have some Gerard Spit on them-Hell Yes.



24. I haven't seen my dad in 3 years, and before that I hadn't seen him for 4.

25. I usually believe that men are bastards and are "Only good for one thing"

But i'm starting to change my mind...

One Of My Favourite Pictures Ever

He Called Me Saying Baby I Don't Love You

(8) And I don't want to get innocent

But I would love you to take my time

"We're on the edge of a beautiful thing", she said

Come on, Lets stay here for a while..(8)

Actually. I've never been more willing to say "Fuck you" to these dicks, who i've continued being nice to. For some reason.

But I'm not going to-although the idea is tempting. His numbers just there, you know? But i'm not going to. Trying to use me!

(8) Take Me Now..Fuck me later

Faggot Faggot Faggot..(8)

Because I'm happy again today. AGAIN. What the hell.

Birthday dinner was quite gurd last night. My wee mumsie is cracker, she got a caterpiller cake for me and everything xD she's so awesome ! They all got me like amazing shizz.. Earrings and bath stuff and all sorts. My personal favourite (It's a bit mean to say that but whatever..I think they knew anyway since I was like OMG MAN! THAT IS FUCKING AWESOME) was a mighty boosh bag from ashleigh. It was so thoughtful...I almost cried. Thats the exact kind of present I fuxxxkingg love. Shes a great wee indie cindy bless her..

Got a text that actually sent my head spinning..

My god the dude is actually so awesome.. ((:

Anyway.. going to do art at school like the nerd I am xD

Outtiess xx

Squisheeeee

(8) We move like cagey tigers.. We couldn't get closer than this

The way we walk

The way we talk

The way we stalk

The way we kiss

We slip through the streets..While everyone sleeps

Getting bigger and sleeker.. And wider and brighter

We bite and scratch and scream all night (8)

I'm deliriously happy today.

Everything is just..right.

Even school work wdf :L

Got my creative writing coursework marked today. He was really impressed (:

The girl who he's trying to get me to be in competition with (He's always doing this, he thinks i'm too self-assured and don't put the work in. I do-I just don't really need to do as much as her. I have a more creative mind) is like the other really good english person.

He read it and annmarie was like "Bet your gonna compare daryls to .....'s now"

And he just said under his breath "..... could never write like this"

It made my day.

Going to get ready for my birthday dinner.

It's stupid how happy I am today. My goofy smile hasn't left my face all day fuck sake hahaha

Much love xxx

(Sweet) Sixteen?

(8) On and on, reckless abandon

Something's wrong, this is gonna shock them

Nothing to.. hold on to..

We'll use this song to lead you on (8)

Birthday today. Pretty shite. Got most of the stuff I wanted. But got the best news i've ever got. Blink 182 are fucking reforming.

Hell...Yes...

Oh yeah and some people didn't wish me happy birthday. Fuck you guys. Die.

He Stands Alone Because He's High On Himself

(8) Fell in love with a girl

I fell in love once and almost completely

She's in love with the world,
But sometimes these feelings can be so misleading

She turns and says "are you alright?"
I said "I must be fine cause my heart's still beating"
"Come and kiss me by the riverside
Yeah, bobby says it's fine

He don't consider it cheating now" (8)

What a shitty day it is today. I need a job or something. Dad rang this morning, woke me up. He's got something for my birthday or something, I dunno. I'm probably gonna have to collect it or something.

I really want perscription lenses in my geeky glasses. I wonder how long it's been since my last eye test? Virtually blind like. Die.

I love my new dress. I can't wait to wear it on friday it's so cute. I'm gonna wear it with my new leather jacket and my punk heels. The ones with cute pink skulls on them. Hell yes.

James rang this morning! Yay! He's such a legend, I told him about how every time I ring his house his dad is a dick to me and I've given up. I really miss james. He's coming up next sunday we arranged, or i'm going up to his. I hope I'm going up there, I love his house. And we sleep up in the attic which is pretty awesome. Some Pics of me and James (:





Having an awesome MSN convo with an ex..well sort of.
SmileBuck.. I've had some shit ones like
Reckless Abandon.. Shit meets?
SmileBuck..Aye
Reckless Abandon..Like..? I hope you don't mean me
SmileBuck.. No! You were great ;)
Reckless Abandon..Cheers.
SmileBuck.. Like frosties
Reckless Abandon.. What?!
SmileBuck.. They're g-g-g-reat
Reckless Abandon.. You fucking legend.

I realised something else today. Men are idiots. Like COMPLETE idiots.

You tell them that when you say something, you might not neccessarily mean it. 2 weeks down the line and they believe you. What did I say before? Gawd.

When you're a bitch to them or ignore them they fucking love you. When you're nice to them they hate you. There's no way to win. (meaning all the guys I don't like think i'm great and the ones I have any interest in seem to not give a shit-useful)

And it's like when they're not using you, they're fucking trying to. That's what I took from last night.

I love these guys (:

(8) A half mast commute through umbilical blisters

Spectre will lurk

Radar has gathered

Midnight nooses from boxcar cadavers (8)

I Am Human And I Need To Be Loved.

(8) Just Like Anybody Else Does..(8)

Wierd day today, done alot of arty shite. I did a painting of flowers. I don't like it. I picked "Life And Death" as my theme, but I was planning to focus on the death part, but the problem was that it didn't say death anywhere on the paper, just life. Which sucks because I think she (my art teacher) is expecting me to do loads of flower shite. Everyones like "you're doing FLOWERS?!" and saying how wierd it is to see me painting normal stuff. (My last project was entitled 'Imagination' and incuded vampires, self harm and george, my shrunken head xD)

I went down to the butchers today and asked if they would let me go down into the back "if they had meat like..hanging gruesomely on hooks and stuff" and the guy laughed and lead me down the back with my little camera. The guy had really stunning bright blue eyes and he was really dead on and funny. I was glad he wasn't mean. So he brought me down the back and let me "fire away" which I did. I got loads. Here's my favourite.

I was wanting to get out of there pronto. It was like one of those rooms in a horror movie that the girl gets locked into before she's killed. I wish i'd had someone with me..Ter Ter offered, but he took too long to get ready. I think it must have been wierd to see this small girl with big hair coming out of a butchers filled with men and they all looked at me wierd. People down here don't really get me. Almost everyone in "the town" looked me up and down. One woman drove past and turned her head right around, straining to see me wdf. And I got tonnes of beeps from the guys who sit on the road in their cars. The guys round here don't see many girls. And their only way to communicate is beeping like animals. Tards :L

I liked my outfit today =D

Me and mammoth are fully texting again, it's so good to know we're mates at the very least. Well..not exactly from the things he's been saying ;)

I've never had anyone talk to me the way he does. He knows just what to say. He thinks I do aswell. He text me saying "Fuck me you know what a guy wants" hahaha.

OMG and B rang earlier :0 He asked me down to see his mates band-again. I told him I was going to a house party-I ended up not going. He said he'd been really busy with tech and stuff and said he wanted to see me soon. I told him about butters and how he text me asking to meet up on valentines day when he flies in from london. B was all "yeah you know what he's looking don't you?" but I hadn't really thought of that. I'm starting to wonder if he's over me. I don't mean that in a big headed way, they actually fell out over me what the hell! I met them both on the same day and butters liked me right away and he used to ring me all the time and we'd talk for ages, and I thought we were just friends then he asked me to like make out with him or something and I said something about not ruining our friendship. But I had liked B that whole time, and kissed him that day at the station and a few times after. They started fighting more and then butters moved to england. Wierd.

Well anyway B ended the phone call with "I was just making sure you're ok. I still consider you one of my good mates, remember that. Take care"

He's so sweet. I wish I still felt that way about him, we'd be really good together. I'm glad we both consider each other friends now though, that makes me feel really happy (:

I wish all my friends were still my friends. But they're not. I hate it. I miss the way we used to be.

I miss you girl. Please come back.

Boys Don't Cry (I Wish)

(8) I would tell you.. That I loved you.. If I thought that you would stay..

But I know that it's no use.. That you've already.. Gone away..

Misjudged your limit.. Pushed you too far.. Took you for granted..
I thought that you needed me more (8)

How Soon Is Now?

Me and mammoth are sort of talking again. Would it be easier if he was just out of my life completely?

I Really Miss Your Hair In My Face,
And The Way Your Innocence Tastes.

Those lyrics are so stupid. "miss your hair in my face" he sounds like a wierdo.

My brother made a remark on The Dude earlier. (seriously..obsessed much?) and I got a little annoyed. I think he noticed. I think he might know =/

I'm like an open book. It's shit. I wish I didn't like talking through my problems with people, and shouting my opinion at people. I wish I was quiet, and I didn't give anything away. I wish I was mysterious and could just let people be ignorant and not speak up for the "underdog".

I wish I could shut my playboy mouth

God i'm really getting back into the cure. They're fucking amazing. This guy I know has a tattoo of Robert Smith on his arm. It's so funny. That guy is awesome =D I wanna put like all the cure's music on my mp3 player. I wish i'd gotten an Ipod. Although I really appreciate the mp3, It's just so much hassle converting all the stupid songs (I can't just take them from itunes feck sake)

My brother once said I looked like robert smith on a bad day

Worryingly, I didn't take it as an insult

You know.. I just want everything to work out.
I can't concentrate anymore.
I wish I could just..not have to worry.
I wish nothing was difficult and I could sail through life not caring,
I wish I could be like one of those guys who screws all the girls and doesn't think of the consequences.
I wish I had money to show them how much I care (they value material things)
I wish I could get one kiss from her, I wanna show her she's wanted.
I wish I could love him, I wish that's how I felt. I want this to mean something.
I wish I could believe in God, and have blind faith. Things would be easier.

..I can't.

Presents=Problems

(8) she's got one friend, he lives next door, they listen to the weather,

he knows how many freckles she's got, she scratches his beard. she's painting huge books,

glues them together, they saw a big raven; it glided down the sky--she touched it.

Today's a birth-day--they're sucking cigars, he got a chain of flowers, sows a bird in her knickers (8)

So right, today aisling asked me what I wanted for my birthday. I told her to get me something small (I fucking hate when people answer that question with "don't get me anything" DON'T LIE everybody likes pressies xD) and she asked "like what?" and I told her I want a new blusher, or a slouchy hat, or those silver pumps from primark and she was like "I can't just give you a pair of 4 quid pumps" but i'd rather she do that, you know?

The worst is when people don't get you anything. That's soooo bad. It shows how much they don't care. I don't even like having huge presents, my list is really simple this year.

1. Elizabeth Arden creme make up

2. Twilight series (the last 3)

3. Folie A Duex-Fall out Boy

4. A Beautiful World-Robin Thicke

5. Two Tongues album (released today-don't know the name of it)

So dean and my mothero are getting me them. I think it's the most reasonable i've ever been.

Credit crunch and all that ;)

But yeah, I would love to say that a hug is enough or whatever, but I like small things with purpose, aswell as a hug xD

Eugh I just remembered valentines day is coming up =/ Single awareness day anyone? It's totally useless. It's like "Yeah this will make you feel totally shit if you're not in a relationship"

Fuck you, I don't need to be with someone to be happy. And quite frankly, all this shite i've went through with mammoth recently just made me realise that sometimes a "casual thing" isn't always clear on both parts. I still feel bad, he thought I was up for a relationship right away. So from here on i'm only gonna be with one person at a time. Even if it's casual. It's not worth hurting people.

casualcasualcasualcasualcasualcasualcasualcasualcasualcasualcasualcasualcasualcasualcasualcasual

I'm beginning to hate that word...

Jobs And Birthdayness

I'm sitting in my mums work. Boredom right now.

I just went looking for a job in the chemist, but randalstown is so shitty for jobs. Like i've mentioned before, there aren't many places to choose from. And most of the places are chippys of chineses. And clearly i'm not gonna have that smell in my hair afterwards. That shit doesn't come out you know?

Trying to sort out my birthday. I think i'm just gonna go to like dinner or something with my girls and then go out on the friday for drinks at the ramble inn again =/ not sures just yet. And terry asked me to go to something aswell which is feckinnng shweeet coz its both our birthdays around the same time (hes 17 on the 5th, i'm 16 on the 9th).

I asked the dude if he wanted to come to whatever i'm doing and he didn't text back. Predictable much? I totally didn't see that one comeing like. Rolls eyes.

Actually I fully don't blame him for not texting me sometimes. I end up argueing with him for no reason whatsoever Lmao. (I don't really know why, it's probably because I never get to bring anything important up when we're together. Theres no fucking time. I HATE it..) But bless him like. I'm not the easiest person to put up with. Actually i've only ever had one person able to handle me, he was a fucking legend. But also a prick (try to remember that >.<)

The Nicest Thing

All I know is that you're so nice, You're the nicest thing I've seen.

I wish that we could give it a go, See if we could be something.

I wish I was your favorite girl,

I wish you thought I was the reason you are in the world.

I wish my smile was your favorite kind of smile

I wish the way that I dressed was your favourite kind of style.

I wish you couldn't figure me out, But you always wanted know what I was about.

I wish you'd hold my hand when I was upset,

I wish you'd never forget the look on my face when we first met.

I wish you had a favorite beauty spot that you loved secretly,

'Cos it was on a hidden bit that nobody else could see.

Basically, I wish that you loved me, I wish that you needed me,

I wish that you knew when I said two sugars, actually I meant three.

I wish that without me your heart would break,

I wish that without me you'd be spending the rest of your nights awake.

I wish that without me you couldn't eat,

I wish I was the last thing on your mind before you went to sleep.

All I know is that you're the nicest thing I've ever seen.

I wish that we could see if we could be something.

Kate Nash Is My New Favourite Person =D

Burnt Toast And Ghosts On Mars

(8) No need to scream and shout, no doubt if women are from venus now.

All I wanna do is please you, please myself by living my life too.

And all the stupid things I do have absolutely no reflection on how I feel about you (8)

I burnt my toast this morning. That's totally not a good start. Plus it's sunday, so I know this day's gonna fully suck..

I've had the most boring weekend of my life this weekend. Done like nothing at all. Well no actually I got some coursework done. The joy. I'm actually quite happy about that, I haven't really been able to concenrate recently. Too many shitty things going on tbh.

I seen him last night, walking with is girlfriend. He makes me sick now. I can't believe he was such a fag to me. Suck me you asshole.

My dad rang this morning, but I needed a lie in so I just let dean get it. I still haven't really asked what was said. I'm contemplating whether I should go over this summer.

I had the freakiest dream last night. I think it was because of this movie we watched last night. Ghosts Of Mars. This awesome movie with Ice Cube and stuff, I really liked it. We were gonna watch goodfellas aswell and we were half way through it then we got this dumbass prank phone call and my mum thought i'd give my number out to someone because they mentioned me. ("I wanna fuck your daughter"). Dicks. And she was annoyed at them, but accidently took it out on me and I got pissed off because I don't associate with people who are that fucking immature.

Ok back to the dream. It was like in my aunties old house and there was this kid who looked like reagan or whatever from the exorcist (i've had a dream about her before wtf) and she was in this box and I was like in the box but I wasn't and it was really claustrophobic and I just kept thinking-"don't let her claw at you" so I was trying to push her away, but I couldn't see her. Then me and some guy (I have no idea who it was but he was like this hot nerd) went on a magical mystery tour to find her and we went into this shop and she was running about mental and I was like "there she is!" and he was all "thats not her you dumbass!" but it fully was.

She was like this small kid in a black dress and her hair was thinning so you could see her scalp and she had big dark circles under her eyes and wee cute nose and mouth. But she was freaky as fuck.