And if i could be who you wanted, all the time.

I wouldn't.
Because i am myself.
I have shitty days.
And i have awesome days.
Like everyone else.
I fight with people, and i'm nice to people.
After more than a year.. you would think you'd be able to be comfortable enough with someone, to be able to speak about how you're feeling.
Tell them you're upset.
Or tell them you're happy.
But apparently you're not.

Because you can be completely comfortable with someone, include them in everything. Your thoughts, your life, you can be totally absent of everything, leave it at the door, and be yourself in a way you've never been before.

And yet, when it comes to expressing your emotions in the purest (but maybe harsh-est ..is that a word?) way, suddenly you're not the same person that has been there for this long..

I try to tell people everything i feel, i string it into a random amount of questions. I cover every. single. stupid. thought.

But you know.. that's how i fucking roll. I'm proud to say i don't hold back, and i'm proud to say that if you don't like it, i don't really care.

Because there is always someone else who can appreciate you for who you are, not a perfect perception of what you should be, that someone has just made up in their head. No-one is perfect. NO-ONE.

I'm glad that i can see the good in people. And that i don't throw things away at the drop of a hat.

Fuck it, i'm done.
I feel like the last year and whatever months has been a complete waste of my time.
I got experience.
I got lies.
I got shitty feelings.
In the end i got myself into a hole, that i'm now going to have to get myself out of.
I'm trying not to blame myself entirely, even though that seems to be how it's perceived.
IDK. And i don't give a shit anymore.
I'm so glad i have another reason to hate everyone. And everyone's stupid ideas of what perfection should be.

Fake plastic trees is such an awesome song right now, loving it.