my best friend is lovely.

ciara sent me this with an "i love you"
see she got me a belle set
and i got her this ariel one
it cheered me up

Alice and Harry

(8) let me know..

do i still got time to grow?

things aint always set in stone

let me know let me know..(8)

Coursework is wrecking my life.

Look at me i'm not even doing it.

Sheesh.

STRESS IS AT A NEW HIGH.

so this is a wierd one. my boyfriends mate text me this morning, and it had to be him because he made a personal joke, and i don't think anyone else knew about that. I don't even remember giving him my number =/ thennn i text him back like four hours later and he was like "sorry i dont have your no, whz yourself?"

say what?? i will have to see what The Dude thinks. i'm confused.

OMG IM SO WORRIED ABOUT CIARA. SHE'S GONE.

..to malowi.

AGHH. more stress. FML.

She better not come back all god-loving. There's nothing wrong with that like, but it wouldn't suit her.

ok distractionnssss leave me alone. back to work.

im outtie xo

Now.

Well. I was going to go to sleep. But i need to gather my thoughts.
I am feeling so immensely indifferent right now.
Have had a hangover for two days now, as i was out with roisin friday and a house party last night.
Last night was unreal.
An old friend was there.
I used to like him, and he used to like me. So it was awesome to see him. We had a fun time :) and i made a new friend, he was brilliant :) the whole night was really good because i was drinking, but this morning i just felt really shitty. I heard new friend saying 'is she ok?' and stuff, which was really comforting. Then this really arrogant guy was leaning over me going 'are you alive?' and i was like eurghhhh.
I felt so out of place now that my favourite people had left.
I felt really wierd and horrible, so i left without giving james a hug.
I got the bus on my own.
Got to town on my own.
Had half an hour to dander about.

My mp3 player was so in sync with me. i felt like i was in donnie darko. tears for fears played and it made me really happy, and i smiled at people. i walked into the disney shop and looked at the new princess and the frog stuff, and didnt get annoyed when the security guard followed me. i looked over a photographers shoulder. he was standing on a little ladder and pointing his camera in the city hall direction, he had a massive tripod. and i realised im kind of into photography now.

I just feel like i can't really talk to anyone right now.
I can talk to the guy in england.
But thats only because he's not like real.
he's just a perfect illusion of what i want a person to be, and i am to him.
He sent me a letter yesterday.
It's perfect too.
It makes me sad that some day we might meet up and we won't be so perfect anymore.
He's such a good friend to me.

I hate seeing people unhappy. I don't know whats happening with everyone now.
I don't like finding out that my friends boyfriend is being a dick again.
I loved it when they were my idea of perfection.
He's a wanker to me now.
I hate that he's not exactly what she wants.
Because you can't help who you fall in love with.
And all i want is for them to be happy again.
I have nothing else to say, so i'm going to lie down for a while.
I wish i had a hand to hold right now.
His hand.

im outtie.

Anyone have a black bodycon skirt?

Shopping with ciara is my favourite thing.

• looking everywhere for bodycon skirts that aren't there anymore! Ciara only realises she doesn't hate things once they go out of style, that's how she rolls ;)
• doing good deads! we found a grannies phone, and contacted a load of people in her phonebook, looked at her pictures, and got to see her be happy when she came back to collect it :)
• seeing old friends that we don't like anymore. always fun.
• meeting new friends via lighter possession! always good.
• going to different shoe shops because i can't decide which one i want to buy my new converse out of, even though they're exactly the same. ciara bes very patient with me :)
• having that long awaited smoke. hurm.
• her being there and telling me to buy things, instead of just being like "i dunnnooooo" like everyone else agrrrrr
• only buying band tops if we like the band. it's a sacred rule.
• ROMANTIC MEALS. in dingy restaurants. i love it when one of us pays, then the next time the other one does. We are awesome.
• Cups with two straws =D

This is ciara dodgeing the photo. with the granny phone. in one of our favourite restaurants.

Loving life.

Snowheart <3

(8) Oily marks appear on walls

Where pleasure moments hung before.

The takeover, the sweeping insensitivity of this..still life.

Hide and seek.

Trains and sewing machines.

(Oh, you won't catch me around here)

Blood and tears,

They were here first. (8)

Snow's here.

the first time i saw a speck of it, i was under a street lamp, holding a warm hand.

i wanted to take a picture of it.

instead i just stood there and looked at it, until i was pulled away.

Today it's so deep.

I did such a pretty picture in it.

do you like it?

Last night was awesome.

I felt a bit like this...

If that makes sense..

i had some beautiful kisses.

i felt really proud when two strands of my life met and mixed.

and i observed the people i shared a tiny room with in a completely different light.

which caused them to ask if i was ok, which i thought was hilarious :)

i cleaned up my best friends sick.

then i cleaned up another friend's sick, who was only sick because the other chick was sick.

pahahahahaha.

then i ran downstairs with this girl. and we were mesmerized by the fact that suddenly the outside of her house was completely coated in white, untouched by footprints as it was 5.30 in the morning. i pressed my face against the glass, breathed, and forgot everything for about 3 minutes. it was really special to me.

that's all for now.

enjoy the snow while it's here please, as the serenity and beauty of untouched snow cannot be matched by any other sight.

I wish everyone was happy.

I wish everyone could have shiny nice lives.
Shiny happy people.
I wish Ciara could have everything she deserves and more.









And i guess i wish he would show me he means everything he's said.