When i was younger, i always thought i'd end up with this "Dream Man".

he'd have beautiful dark eyes, and a mysterious expression. he'd be a gentleman, he'd put his coat on me, and take me out. we'd watch disney movies that we both loved. he'd always smell really good and be as passionate about art as i am. we would lie in bed all day and make up imaginary stories like i did when i was a kid. he'd stay on the phone for hours. he'd kiss me and hold my hand infront of his friends. he would always let me know how beautiful he thinks i am.
i can't believe i actually found him. :)

what time is it? prom time.

eugh. prom.
everyone won't shut up about it. like seriously. where are you sitting? did you get your dress? who are you bringing? WHO CARES it's like two months away! and although this is all very annoying i'm getting tired of telling people i'm not going. i think they think i don't have a date.

i do, i have four people wanting to go but i promised myself that if i went to prom again it would be with my boyfriend. he didn't get to go to my last and i've been waiting. but we broke up. typical. fuck prom.

Dream a little dream.

i got in a taxi, the same taxi that took me to his house all those times before.

when i saw him, his face distorted in panic and disgust. he looked me up and down and asked me why i was only wearing a towel.

"i'm just out of the shower", i said, "and i only expected sex.." he fussed about, looking for clothes i could wear. i asked him what the problem was and he said "i'm introducing you to my parents tonight dari!"

...and i didn't know what to feel.

i miss him so much today..

And I thought I loved you then...

(8) And she's trying to sleep it off.. with her head on my shoulder,

And i'm trying to keep it out..of my thoughts when I hold her.

Take all you can from me. (8)

So yesterday was pretty much a lovely/upsetting day. I was meant to go down to my boyfriends new music video he was shooting (he's a fim maker/ photographer type thing) but i slept in, so i met him at the cinema where it was set straight after just. I knew right away that something was up, because he looked really distracted and he gave me this really long hug..

He was upset. it didn't go well.

We sat with his friends in this coffee shop and eventually they left one by one. We cuddled, and he told me what happened.. he sounded really choked up about it, and i felt so crazily protective of him :\

He fell asleep because he works too hard.. and i saw the reflection of us on his laptop screen, and listening to the cure, with my head on his shoulder and his arms around me, and seeing that crazy guy in the backround smiling at me...and those little twitchy things he does when he's about to fall asleep, and him pulling my face to his every once in a while for a sleepy kiss... it was perfecto.

Christmas Times

Hello strawberry.
Mr strawberry.
Hi.

Did everyone have a nice christmas? :) i got some lovely presents.

I put the tree up on christmas eve, it was cool because we haven't done that in years.

Spent a load of time with my bro, which is ace. We watched the south park movie last night it was awesomeeeee, he's like the soundest person ever in my life.

The christmas break has been really amazing to be honest. I've worked, i've loved, i've hugged, and i've spent time with the favouritest people in my life, apart from two who i really wanna see... ): Oh and i've blown like 150 quid on clothes alone in the space of like 2 weeks EEK. And i intend to spend more! oh yes i do.

I've spent alot of time with the main man in my life, which has been beautiful. I feel really close to him now, closer than i've ever felt, but i also feel like there's alot more to find out about him, more parts of his body to explore, more ways to kiss, to touch.. more stories to hear, more secrets to be told. Which is exactly perfect for me. I'm excited to be loved right now.

Don't have much else to say right now.
Latazzzzz mista straaaawwwwberryy ;)

Pick your pretty heart right off the ground! (or your boyfriends bed)

(8) And so it is.. Just like you said it should be..

We'll both forget the breeze..Most of the time..

I can't take my eyes off you..I can't take my eyes...

I can't take my mind off you..

I can't take my mind...

My mind...

My mind...

..'Til I find somebody (8)

I had a really unusual night on sunday.

I went to my boyfriends house.

And like.. i've been before, but this was like the first time with just us..

There were times where i felt a little awkward.. like i was making it awkward by saying things that didn't make sense.. then there were times when we were overly comfortable with each other, which was a bit wierd too, because i felt maybe it was too comfortable. I don't want us to lose mystery with each other, if that makes sense.

It was nice though, it was easy.

we just talked for a while, and... i like just talking to him.

i can just talk the biggest load of shite,

i can let my thoughts just spill out.

and i don't hold back.

if i have a dream about alien tadpoles, i can explain it to him.

and he'll listen, that's the bit that throws me.

wowee zowee.

AHH I JUST FOUND A SAY ANYTHING SONG I'VE NEVER HEARD BEFORE! OHMYFUCKINGGOD. lifelovingalltheway.. You should probably listen to this, everytime i hear a song i've never heard before by max.. it just leaves a really stupid grin on my face. i look like an idiot right now.. Ciara will probably like it, she likes things with piano's that go DUM..DUM..DUM and she does this little cute thing where she acts out playing the piano when she's demonstrating coldplay songs :) read her blog right now.

Ok i was telling a story.

We watched jackass, and some spoof movies that im really only used to watching with my bro.(God i miss my bro.)

And it was.....content.

I woke up in his arms.

And it felt real, and pure.

Except that he didn't get up for like four hours.

And he kept waking up and telling me half of his dreams, then falling back asleep, which was pretty dayumm funny.

I swear that boys face was tattooed in my brain

..he doesn't have much to look at in his room haha.

here's a picture of our hands.

i was liking it.

Then he made me this crazy meal for breakfast/lunch and it was like pasta, with garlic bread, and two random waffles, we were really living the student dream (he lives in like the university area of belfast)

And after he was like saying that he was really tired and everything, it made me feel like an evil lifesucker superheroe or something! pulling energy from those i love!

Awh mannnnnn and my money came through, and i am BUZZING about shopping times! i am wanting some new black heels, i seen these AMAZING shoes from topshop boutique, but they're like 130 quid.. i don't know if i could bring myself to do it like, because they'd only end up a mess, and i don't really wear heels, but dammit i want a treat :)

AHH ANOTHER SAYANYTHING SONG, AND ITS FUCKING NEW!

NEW SONGS, MEANING A NEW ALBUM,

MEANING MAYBE A TOUR?

MEANING MAYBE I'M GOING TO BE TRAVELLING TO WHEREVER THE FUCK MAX IS.

Quote of the day-

"words just stop meaning stuff"

-ciara confused.