I wish everyone was happy.

I wish everyone could have shiny nice lives.
Shiny happy people.
I wish Ciara could have everything she deserves and more.









And i guess i wish he would show me he means everything he's said.

My life atm.

Love..
Is awesome.
The notebook..
Was shit.
School..
Is getting better.
Drinking..
Never again.
Missing..
Roisin and Aine.
Waiting..
To see what happens.

Quotes of the week

"I feel sensational right now, great house, in love and more than anything I feel like I'm growing constantly as a person, and creatively :)"

-This legend dude on being legendary

"I didn't really get that they died. You can't just do that. I don't just see you lieing there and go 'Oh daryl, you dead over there? think i might join ya' "

- Ciara on the notebook in response to my annoyance.

What an unusual feeling.

(8) Our bodies sink in a pool of sweat

It's the kinda love that U never forget

With U honey, I'm the richest in the world

I don't need money cuz U're my girl

"I love U, I love U in me" (8)

So today wasn't that bad.

I'm trying to get this upper sixth guy to do his artwork, told him to change his project and all today and he's really grateful which is a nice change.

He's really nice. It's nice to have someone there like kinda looking out for me.

Me and GG were like together all day, cause that other dude seems to be in constant moods with me.

Whatever, i can't be assed with anymore men being melodramatic.

Becca was really quite the awesomeness today. We had a superfree and we had like snatch on in the 6th form centre and i was lieing on the sofas on beccas lap and she told me a bedtime story, and then she gave me upside-down eskimo kisses. It was funny as hell.

Quite loved that part of my day.

Hate that AM/PM registration thing... whatttt?

eugh just seen this stupid picture, it's really annoying me. everything's changed. i miss when his was an innocent face, now it's just stupid and arrogant and cold.

- ciara ' says:
yeahhh i knowww man

Falling slowly, sing your melody, i'll sing along. says:
i wanna stomp on his face
join me?

- ciara ' says:
YESSSSSSSSSSSSSS PLEASE

Falling slowly, sing your melody, i'll sing along. says:
*stomp stomp*

- ciara ' says:
*stomp stomp STOMP STOMP STOMP*

Falling slowly, sing your melody, i'll sing along. says:
HAHAHA

- ciara ' says:
soz got a bit carried away

Falling slowly, sing your melody, i'll sing along. says:
angry ones at the end there

- ciara ' says:
yep they were hatefull like

Falling slowly, sing your melody, i'll sing along. says:
they were
pahaha

Thats surreal. So real? the song? no, S-U-R.. oh..

(8) Yes, I know all about that other guy

The handsome man with athletic thighs

I know about all the times before

With that obsessive little rich boy

They might think you think you're happy

Yeah maybe for a minute or two..

They can't make you laugh !

No they can't make you feel the way that I do ! (8)

Last few days have been so surreal (:

The other day me and terry went and hung out with all these people who used to go to our old school, including curley haired dude (:

Which was ace, we talked about how we'd like ignored each other for like two years, and we ended up being alone and we finally got it together...

It was so crazy, it was just one of those things you never think is gonna happen and then for it just randomly happen is so strange..

Anyway then Terrys mate james came down and we sat at the front of like this bridge where I live and we were just sitting on the ground and this old dude stopped to talked to us. He had this white hair and he was this lil plump thing with a red face and a moustache and a friendly smile.

He was asking to hang out with us and i was like

"yeahh join our crew sure"

AND HE ACTUALLY DID.

hahahaaaa oh lordy. Sooo we had this really wierdd convo and like James kept nudging my leg cause he was scared. And i told the dude that my name was Enid since i thought he might stalk me or something. And he just randomly said

"i'm gonna tell ye something... listen... i'm an alcoholic *giggles* n i've bin drinkin whishkey fer hours now.. since 9 this marnin!"

Then Terry said it was time to go and we all shook his hand and james was like

"his hand is so warm!!"

and looked really scared and stuff...it was funny.

Then we went to James' and his house is actually amazing!

Oh and i saw that guy from tv with the flicky hair.. Laurence Llewellyn Bowan in Randalstown today. Like it was Eddie Izzard the other month, what's going on here?

Anyway i'm headingg to Annmaries for a movie night.

Bye all xD

Things are getting better.

Make this go on forever.

Please don't let this turn into something it's not

I can only give you everything I've got

I can't be as sorry as you think I should

But I still love you more than anyone else could

We have got through so much worse than this before

What's so different this time that you can't ignore

You say it is much more than just my last mistake

And we should spend some time apart for both our sakes

The last girl and the last reason to make this last for as long as I could

First kiss and the first time that I felt connected to anything

The weight of water, the way you told me to look past everything I had ever learned

The final word in the final sentence you ever uttered to me was love..

I hate everyone right now.
The only people i can trust are one's i've known for like ten years.
What the fuck does that say about me.
That everyone screws me over in the end.

Fuck all you fakes.
I don't care about being nice to you anymore.
Actually, i won't.
I hope you hate me back.
And then i won't have to pretend.

And if i could be who you wanted, all the time.

I wouldn't.
Because i am myself.
I have shitty days.
And i have awesome days.
Like everyone else.
I fight with people, and i'm nice to people.
After more than a year.. you would think you'd be able to be comfortable enough with someone, to be able to speak about how you're feeling.
Tell them you're upset.
Or tell them you're happy.
But apparently you're not.

Because you can be completely comfortable with someone, include them in everything. Your thoughts, your life, you can be totally absent of everything, leave it at the door, and be yourself in a way you've never been before.

And yet, when it comes to expressing your emotions in the purest (but maybe harsh-est ..is that a word?) way, suddenly you're not the same person that has been there for this long..

I try to tell people everything i feel, i string it into a random amount of questions. I cover every. single. stupid. thought.

But you know.. that's how i fucking roll. I'm proud to say i don't hold back, and i'm proud to say that if you don't like it, i don't really care.

Because there is always someone else who can appreciate you for who you are, not a perfect perception of what you should be, that someone has just made up in their head. No-one is perfect. NO-ONE.

I'm glad that i can see the good in people. And that i don't throw things away at the drop of a hat.

Fuck it, i'm done.
I feel like the last year and whatever months has been a complete waste of my time.
I got experience.
I got lies.
I got shitty feelings.
In the end i got myself into a hole, that i'm now going to have to get myself out of.
I'm trying not to blame myself entirely, even though that seems to be how it's perceived.
IDK. And i don't give a shit anymore.
I'm so glad i have another reason to hate everyone. And everyone's stupid ideas of what perfection should be.

Fake plastic trees is such an awesome song right now, loving it.