Now You Wish You Meant Something To Somebody Else

(8) Baby, don't talk to me.

I'm trying to let go

Not loving you is harder then you know.

'Cause girl your driving me so crazy

You said this could only get better.

There's no rush, 'cause we have each other.

You said this would last forever,

But now i doubt if I was your only lover (8)

Today is so shitty. I was going to get the bus with my brother into belfast, but he didn't wake me up this morning. He got the early bus, so I woke up at 11 and thought "ok i'll get the 10 to 12 bus" but then I got a shower and it sort of dawned on me that I take a million hours to get ready so I just left.
I was severely depressed this morning when I realised he'd gone =/

I was in the house on my own and it was really lonely.

I kinda want to do something today. I'm not sure what just yet.

Can you help me understand?

Had a dream about ben last night, that was sort or surreal. Was about him living down the road from me and I went to his house. We sat on the sofa and he just hugged me. I buried my head into his neck and I remembered how comforting it was to be like that and how much I miss it.

It was so warm and soft and I inhaled his scent. It was so real. And I remember thinking "I can't do this...I'm seeing someone now"

And I had to go before something happened.

I think it was because he started talking to me the other day on msn. He was telling me how much he missed me and the things we did. I was like "yeah I kinda miss it too"

And he was like "I don't think you do"

So I went "Don't be talking to me like this. You don't realise how hard it was to get over you"

"It couldn't have been that hard"

"It was.. I really liked you"

"How much?"

"Wdf ben? Are you just doing this because you want to feel good about yourself or something?!"

"No hun, I was just curious. You don't have to tell me. You never were the type to spill your heart out.."

"Fine. I thought I loved you. I was wrong. But at the time that's how I felt"

"..I feel really bad now. I'm sorry for everything that happened."

Then I stopped talking to him. I don't need him getting on like that with me. Not now.

*Choking sounds - spit*

MAX- ahh that's it

CRAIG- oh my god, mustve passed out *laugh* I wanted to pass out

MAX- well you just did

CRAIG- fucking awesome *laugh*

MAX- It's just not enough flavour

I hate how fucked up everything is right now. It would be so easy to make it okay.