I Am Human And I Need To Be Loved.

(8) Just Like Anybody Else Does..(8)

Wierd day today, done alot of arty shite. I did a painting of flowers. I don't like it. I picked "Life And Death" as my theme, but I was planning to focus on the death part, but the problem was that it didn't say death anywhere on the paper, just life. Which sucks because I think she (my art teacher) is expecting me to do loads of flower shite. Everyones like "you're doing FLOWERS?!" and saying how wierd it is to see me painting normal stuff. (My last project was entitled 'Imagination' and incuded vampires, self harm and george, my shrunken head xD)

I went down to the butchers today and asked if they would let me go down into the back "if they had meat like..hanging gruesomely on hooks and stuff" and the guy laughed and lead me down the back with my little camera. The guy had really stunning bright blue eyes and he was really dead on and funny. I was glad he wasn't mean. So he brought me down the back and let me "fire away" which I did. I got loads. Here's my favourite.

I was wanting to get out of there pronto. It was like one of those rooms in a horror movie that the girl gets locked into before she's killed. I wish i'd had someone with me..Ter Ter offered, but he took too long to get ready. I think it must have been wierd to see this small girl with big hair coming out of a butchers filled with men and they all looked at me wierd. People down here don't really get me. Almost everyone in "the town" looked me up and down. One woman drove past and turned her head right around, straining to see me wdf. And I got tonnes of beeps from the guys who sit on the road in their cars. The guys round here don't see many girls. And their only way to communicate is beeping like animals. Tards :L

I liked my outfit today =D

Me and mammoth are fully texting again, it's so good to know we're mates at the very least. Well..not exactly from the things he's been saying ;)

I've never had anyone talk to me the way he does. He knows just what to say. He thinks I do aswell. He text me saying "Fuck me you know what a guy wants" hahaha.

OMG and B rang earlier :0 He asked me down to see his mates band-again. I told him I was going to a house party-I ended up not going. He said he'd been really busy with tech and stuff and said he wanted to see me soon. I told him about butters and how he text me asking to meet up on valentines day when he flies in from london. B was all "yeah you know what he's looking don't you?" but I hadn't really thought of that. I'm starting to wonder if he's over me. I don't mean that in a big headed way, they actually fell out over me what the hell! I met them both on the same day and butters liked me right away and he used to ring me all the time and we'd talk for ages, and I thought we were just friends then he asked me to like make out with him or something and I said something about not ruining our friendship. But I had liked B that whole time, and kissed him that day at the station and a few times after. They started fighting more and then butters moved to england. Wierd.

Well anyway B ended the phone call with "I was just making sure you're ok. I still consider you one of my good mates, remember that. Take care"

He's so sweet. I wish I still felt that way about him, we'd be really good together. I'm glad we both consider each other friends now though, that makes me feel really happy (:

I wish all my friends were still my friends. But they're not. I hate it. I miss the way we used to be.

I miss you girl. Please come back.