I'll Never Be Good Enough For you.. Imperfect

(8) I'm sorry for the nights I let you down

Now all that's left to see is that I turned around

Back to the boy you fell in love with

Not this plague that brings you down

Remind your mom to call me, I still care

'Cause her approval meant the world

And I will not dare to disagree

With the life you arrange

Just remember only god knows if I change (8)

All I can say now is that i'm happy. Im happy that i've let this go. I'm happy that I can focus on something other than what I want. It's incredibly selfish anyway. Why do I keep pushing people away?

I've lost so much. That I can't get back.

I can only have hope for the future. But I know i'll do it again.

I'll break hearts because I didn't know. As a result i'll lose friends, because they wanted more than that. More than I could give them.

I'll lie to you. I'll go behind your back. I'll sneak around with someone because I didn't want the truth to come out.

Is it better now?

I'll get confused again.. He whispered "I Love you.. but i'm not in love with you. Not the same way I love her"

And i'll cry. I'll drag out a blade again. I'll leave marks that will never fade. I'll scream at my stupidity. I'll trace my scars and reminisce.

I thought I was happy.

I'll wonder how it got to this point.

He'll get suspicious again, he'll worry about me. He'll tell me he wants me to get better, he can't stand seeing me like this. Why does he care so much about me? I wish I knew. He's like my dad now. I'm going to miss him.

She'll tell me to ring up my best mate again. I don't like being reminded that we don't talk anymore. How can one person hold so many of my secrets. So much of my past. So much that no-one else knows. And how can I ignore her now?

I'll pour it down my throat, it will burn. We'll kiss and I'll remember that she's my best friend. We'll feel uncomfortable then laugh. She'll listen while I call him. I'll tell him again how he let me down. How i'm lost without him. Why am I so truthful when it hits my head? She'll tell me he's not worth it, I can do better. I won't believe her.

She'll spread rumours about me AGAIN and deny them. She knows that I can see through her. But she doesn't even apologise anymore. And we'll be friends. Why am I so gullible to people who pretend they care?

I'll make mistakes again. To get over the pain.
What does a touch do?

Makes me feel loved.

Makes me feel I have control.

Makes me feel that someone thinks about me, the way I think about him.

Makes me remember...

Whoa the first time. When we kissed outside her house. We left them for hours. Time stood still. And you cared. You remembered the necklace. You asked me what was wrong. Your hands wandered. I can't believe I didn't see. When you asked me if tonight was the night.

I'll apologize. Because I feel down on myself... I talk too much. Too much that's not important. Only to me.

From now on i'll stop.

I'm going to try and be happy from now on..