NEW BLOG YAY

HI GUYS.

IM SORRY ITS BEEN SO LONG

IM GONNA BE A DEDICATED BLOGGER AGAIN

ALTHOUGH NOT HERE

OVER HERE! http://darylwonder.blogspot.co.uk/

I STILL LOVE YA'LL

oh caps.
<3 p="">

"follow me, i'll follow you. follow me, i'll follow you"

http://idolisten.blogspot.co.uk/

follow this guy. :D

FUCK.

my body is an antique.
once it was loved and treasured and used.
it felt hands, and fingertips, lips even.
its curves were delicately stroked.
its openings softly prodded.

it was a thing of pride,
to be shown off to others.
it was not perfect.
but deep love made it so.

now, my body is cold and broken.
a cracked vase in a dirty window.
they stare at me. they leer and stare and leer and stare.
and I dance for them.
I dance and I twirl and I smile for them.

they want to buy me.
they know that I am broken.
they know I will be easily fixed.
with love.
with hands.
putting me back together,
correct, this time.

but I don't want it.
I am myself,
this broken, alone thing.
I want to remain cold.
I don't want a new flower in my vase.
just the memory of the last,
flitting over me like a butterfly,
eyelashes, lips, fingertips.
gone to another.

my body is an antique.
that is how it will remain.

ps.

eyelashes are not magic.
love is a myth.

time

I cried really hard twice today.

It's one less than I cried yesterday.

And hopefully one more than I will cry tomorrow.

Wrote this in my head on the way home from his house.

Arms that warmed me, will not warm me.
Hands that held mine, will not hold me.
Words that thrilled me, will cease to thrill me.
and the eyes that told me, have done finally.

Oh and the kisses.
The kisses.
on foreheads,
on lips, hips, tips
of you
on inner arm and inner thigh
on fingers and on minds
on you and on mine
between cheeks
between sheets
on buses
in rain
under bandstands
on trains
in "Paris"
and on the walk home
by the river
and everywhere in between.
when we wanted.

Kisses that fell on you. and on me. will no longer fall.

new blog.

hey guys. sorry i don't post on here, like ever, anymore. heres my new blog. its actually for my boyfriend. but whatever, you might like reading it.


http://blogforjohnathan.blogspot.com/

I'm planning on uploading a fashion section, where i'll be working on my portfolio and uploading it as i go, so hopefully you'll like that, if you don't like the mushy lovey crap.

toodles.

Can't you see that you're fading.

wow, it's been a really long time since I've written in this.
I've been in Australia the past 3 weeks, and still am. So I've been writing another blog for my boyfriend, and I've been posting on that, even though it's ridiculously romantic and sentimental and stuff, and before I left I was doing my a-levels, and attempting to concentrate on them and things.

I just felt a need to write in this, about change.

Change is a big thing to me. I don't like when things change.
When my mom threw out our old sofa it had to be put outside until someone could collect it. I sat on it all day in a big big coat reading A series of unfortunate events (I was probably 12-ish at the time, maybe a little older), and drinking cups of tea my family would bring out to me.

But sometimes things are sadder when they don't change.

Sometimes you realise that people can say things, dress things up to be different than they actually are, but they are the same person.

Anyway. I'm coming home later next week, and I can't wait to see everybody. I miss my sweet boyfriend and lovely mummy.

later all.

Dream Irish house to rent, along with acceptance into dream university? PLEASE.

i've spent this whole week in bed sick. really i should have blogged right? but i had like no energy :( i did do one productive thing though! i brought my portfolio (along with my boyfriends) down to the south to this art college we want to go to. i checked out the place and all, and there's this town down the road from the uni called Dawkey? or something? it's so beautiful. so we were searching for houses online today while he was over.

i feel like a grown-up. it's wierd, but exciting!

You.Are.Loved.

Romantic in our own way.

There's this website I really like called http://asianposes.com/, it's so awesome. But if you're white you suck, so I made Cute Boy do a couple. These were the last photos of me being 17 :( EVER. damn.

08/02/11

Haha, this actually goes against everything he stands for, it's so funny. but he know's it makes me happy. and he's adorable.

I liked this one because he was so busy looking at me that he didn't notice me taking a photo :)

12/02/11

Then he met some of my extended fam. Which was so cool. I bought this overly expensive carousel too, made from wood, and you can wind it up and it plays this old song "tea for two" and spins around slowly :) We both fell in love with it a bit.

13/02/11

So for my birthday/valentines day, we met on the train which was cool. Then the train messed up and we had to get off early, so we ended up walking past this BEAUTIFUL restaurant that i've always wanted to go to, and even though it was ultra expensive, we went in and made a reservation :) Then we went to the disney store, ahhhh and he bought me a stitch toy! I got him a toy story wallet. It was legend. He took me to the cinema and we watched TANGLEDDDDD which was so amazing :) I didn't even care that I cried infront of him. He held my hand the whole way through and cuddled me and stitch, it was lovely.

This was our hotel! we felt like grown-ups. I got changed in the bathroom and when i came out he smiled and kissed me and said I looked gorgeous. I can wear heels with him too! isn't that rad? and he's still taller!

14/02/11

This was valentines day itself! we went to cafe nero's and had melty chocolate cake. He also bought me a rose on the way down, which was sooo awesome. I didn't even ask, I was just looking at them, and he was all "daryl.. you want one of those?" :) i was like YAY. and see those glasses? yeah he BROKE them. my legendary glasses. we were at the hotel, and he PICKED ME UP and threw me on them! then he tried to fix it and it snapped off. so i was blind for like 20 MINUTES, AHH. then he bought me new ones :) he's keeping them so that people will know he's mine, la la.

anyway. I hope you guys had a killer valentines day. I've still gotta do a response to shannie, i will get on that soonish :) she's amazing!

ps, 30 followers? wowza. i love you guyssss :)

You. Are. Romantic.

I woke up in his arms today and we imagined.

one day i'll live in an apartment somewhere. somewhere everyone has a beautiful accent.

it will have one big room with wooden floors, big windows and white walls that will constantly be re-painted. polaroids will hold the only evidence of the art that existed there. an easel. a computer.

at night i'll sleep on a double mattress on the floor with white sheets. in the arms of an amazing man. in the corner will be a cot. within, a beautiful baby. ours.

This is our dream.

I don't feel like writing a whole bunch.

hello blog, i've missed you. it's been a while. see i've realised that when you're with someone, you actually want to BE with them, like all the time. therefore, i have zero seconds to even take out a pen.

i would write about valentines day, but it'll be nicer with pictures. and right now i'm in bed. on a phone. but it was nice to check up on everyone's blogs. even daniels. hi! :)

sleep awaits. i hope you guys are all very happy in your lives, and welcome to my new followers.

You.Are.Cherished.

18 going on extinct.

That's it. i'm not a baby anymore.
childhood is over.. how horrible.
i've been mildly depressed for the last few days, switching between "ah i can do what i want now!" and "cuddle me while i play with my toys and watch disney movies" (that's been my boyfriends job lately). and my dad rang the other day too. and he made me really sad. he was trying to get my beauty and the beast things for my non-existant car, and he couldn't find them.

i don't know why this was so depressing. but it was. :/

bye. x

vroom vroom! just kidding, i can't drive.

failed my driving test today. it was pretty suckish.

but this morning was good. Cute Boy and i chilled out at his house and he made me coffee and nutella on toast :) i was stressing out so we cuddled and when i was getting ready he was so lovely. i couldn't find my tights, or my damn hairclip and i was late. and he ran about his house, got me clips, wound up a music box, then hugged me tight and told me it was okay.

he's so comforting and beautiful and he always does the right thing.

i love him :)

Slow down, speed up?

my friend say on the phone to me last night that she would worry about me and Cute Boy getting too serious too quickly. she said things turn sour when people spend too much time with each other.

i tried to tell her that it's different with him.. that it feels like i'm doing something right for once...

but today it was almost like she was right. our morning walk was fine as always, then someone said something and i think he got jealous. it was wierd. anyway, we applied to uni's down south today! yay :)

I Love You.

So, okay i haven't blogged in a while, but i've been so so busy, doing coursework or being with the man. :) But i actually do have to write about this.

i went to Cute Boys house last night, he got me from the train of course and we got a bottle of wine from his restaurant, and some glasses. we watched Toy Story, and we were playin and stuff. then out of nowhere, he told me. he told me he loves me.

...it was so awesome.

so we're going to apply to uni's in the south of ireland and stay together. :)!

When i was younger, i always thought i'd end up with this "Dream Man".

he'd have beautiful dark eyes, and a mysterious expression. he'd be a gentleman, he'd put his coat on me, and take me out. we'd watch disney movies that we both loved. he'd always smell really good and be as passionate about art as i am. we would lie in bed all day and make up imaginary stories like i did when i was a kid. he'd stay on the phone for hours. he'd kiss me and hold my hand infront of his friends. he would always let me know how beautiful he thinks i am.
i can't believe i actually found him. :)

Happy to be Girl B.

you're feeling sad again.
and i can't do anything.
my arms can't embrace you.
it's hard.
hard with an ocean between us.

i wish i could erase the tone in your voice.
you sound so alone.
and my impatience is my biggest flaw.
i never want to grow impatient with you.
not with an ocean between us.

lets start again.
i want you as my friend.
lets begin a new year.
will you be my friend?

everything will be okay.
and it won't be too long.
so hold on.
until there's no ocean between us :)

Dear John...

you paint me a blue sky and go back and turn it to rain.
you changed the rules everyday, wondering which version of you i might get on the phone. well i stopped picking up.
dear john, i see it all now that you're gone. don't you think i was too young to be messed with? the girl in the dress cried the whole way home.
maybe it's me and my blind optimism to blame. or maybe it's you and your sick need to give love then take it away.
you're an expert at sorry. and keeping lines blurry.
you should've known.